In episode #005 of the podcast I talk about my journey into astrology. I know I’ve talked about myself a little in the earlier episodes but I thought I should share what astrology gave me; a sense of some kind of bigger meaning and that I wasn’t just floundering around in this empty, vast nothingness, not really achieving much and never really going anywhere.
Listen Now
🎧 Subscribe on your favourite platform:
âś… Spotify
âś… iTunes
âś… Soundcloud
âś… Stitcher
âś… Google Podcasts
âś… Deezer
…and many more.
➡️ View The Best Astrology Books for Beginners here
➡️ Read About Me here
➡️ Read more about Frank here
➡️ Read more about Mary here
➡️ Watch the trailer for The great Hip Hop Hoax on YouTube
Buy The Book of Music Horoscopes (affiliate links)
🇺🇸 The Book of Music Horoscopes
🇬🇧 The Book of Music Horoscopes
My Journey into Astrology
Welcome back to the stellium astrology podcast. I’m Stefanie James and I have already done a few intro episodes. The last episode I did wasn’t particularly long, so I thought I might take advantage of that rather small soundbite and give you a little extra episode wedged in.
I wanted to introduce myself because I realised that even though I’ve done the welcome and everything, I haven’t really properly told you my story, why I got into astrology and really how it, how it changed my life, I suppose. So I thought I’d just give you a little bit of background on me.
My Lineage
I have always been interested in astrology and tarot, and I’ve just always been interested in that area of things. And my mum has always told me that my my grandfather, her father was able to hypnotise people.
So he, somehow I don’t know how he gained his skills, but he understood hypnosis and was able to hypnotize people. She told me loads of funny stories about who he’d hypnotized.
It sounded very theatrical hypnosis, not the type of hypnotherapy that you can get now, which is very not entertaining at all. It’s very relaxed and takes you into your own subconscious and helps you to work on yourself from within. It sounded very entertainment value type hypnosis, but nonetheless, I found it fascinating.
And also that my grandmother’s dad, so my great grandfather was a palmist and he was interested in all things palmistry and I don’t know whether he was interested in astrology or not but he was already interested in that sort of thing. So there was already talk of things that. I’d always talked about these sorts of things.
And also my grandmother had always talked about having a bit of a psychic ability to an extent which, it was something she, I think she’d have those kinds of dreams, those pre-cognitive dreams.
My Astrological Placements
And myself as a child growing up, I was already, I was always, I don’t know. I always felt a little bit different. And I think I’ve got—let me tell you about my chart—I’ve got sun in Capricorn and moon in Scorpio, and I have a Gemini ascendant. And sun in Capricorn, generally, they don’t come into their own usually until they’ve had their Saturn return.
And then as life goes on, things get a bit easier for them. Or they just adapt to understanding, I suppose, having a Capricorn sun, your sun in the sign of ageing as a child it’s probably not the best placement, but as you start to get older, you start to slip into that Capricorn mentality.
And I also have a stellium in Aquarius. I have all of my personal planets—so Venus, Mercury and Mars—and my midheaven, all in Aquarius. And that is a very that that has leant to me feeling very different and always feeling a bit of an outsider, I suppose.
Not Your Average Capricorn
So growing up, I wasn’t the popular one, ever. And I was always interested in astrology, and I had I remember for one of my birthdays, my mum got me some karma cards and lovely little things that, that I just used to… And whenever we used to go to the seaside, I remember there was this little hippie shop if anybody’s from in the UK. I used to go to Worthing a lot and there was a little arcade in Worthing and I don’t know the name of the shop now, but there was a tiny little shop.
It was just a little tiny little place that sold all sorts of beads and crystals. And back in the 1980s, there were mugs with suns and moons on and things – just all those kinds of things that I just…It spoke to me, and I guess, being a Capricorn I realised or thought that I was just going to have to be a sensible girl responsible and all that. And I wasn’t very, because I had a very rebellious youth. So really, I struggled to fit into the Capricorn idea of who I was supposed to be. Not that I was trying to fit into being a Capricorn. It’s just, that’s the way I’m talking about myself. I knew I was a Capricorn.
I thought Capricorn sounded boring, and I didn’t really know much more about astrology than just sun signs. But I remember being at school and them saying, what do you want to study when you get older? And the only thing that really captured my imagination was when I was in a science class and they put an astronomy DVD on. Oh my gosh! It wasn’t even a DVD – it was a video!
So they put a video on, in my science class or one of those old TVs. And I remember watching the planets and just being so riveted. I was so fascinated by space. So when it came to picking my college courses, I chose to study Astronomy.
But unfortunately as I was probably one of the only people that actually chose that course, they decided not to run it. So they were like “what was your plan B?” and I was like, “I don’t really know – I haven’t really thought about a plan B – that’s all I want to do!”
So I ended up studying a variety of different courses at college, all sorts of things. I became a qualified hairdresser, and I did all kinds of courses because my Gemini ascendant is a bit of a course-junkie. I do enjoy going to courses and the classroom environment. I find that all very interesting.
Mercury Retrograde
What I failed to mention is that my Mercury, when I was born was retrograde when I was born. It went retrograde on the day that I was born. So people who are born with Mercury retrograde (natally) generally tend to struggle to reach where they’re supposed to be (or where they think they’re supposed to be) as quickly as they want to.
And for me, it being my chart ruler, I think I started life a few steps further back than everybody else. So I didn’t really know what I wanted to do, I didn’t really resonate with many things and I went into the world of work not really having much of a focus of what I wanted to achieve, but I didn’t really have any problems in the workplace as far as actually achieving and doing quite well at my jobs – as a Capricorn was able to get promoted and do quite well in the places that I worked, but it never really fulfilled me.
It really didn’t give me a sense of purpose, what I was doing. I did, I worked in the civil service for about seven years and that was it got to the point where I was actually really quite depressed because I just thought, “I just can’t see how life can carry on – how I can carry on, trying to get up and go to work and doing something that just doesn’t fulfil me”.
Saturn Return
Interestingly, around the time that I was having these thoughts and feelings, I was coming closer and closer to my Saturn return. And it is at that point in your life where if you’re not doing things that really resonate with you, then you, you’re forced onto a route that makes you follow your bliss, or at least do the things you’re supposed to be doing rather than the things you think you’re supposed to be doing.
And for Capricorn, a Saturn return can be quite a profound time in their life because actually, their ruling planet Saturn is saying to them, “Right. OK. Enough of this silliness! I know that you think that you’re supposed to be doing this, but actually you’re supposed to be… you’re not supposed to be working here” or “you’re not supposed to be married to this person”, or “you’re not supposed to be engaged” or perhaps, “you’re actually supposed to be going off to another country and doing a little bit of soul searching and self discovery”.
It really is a ‘coming of age’ tale. So my problem was that I was always taking other people’s advice. I just wanted to hear what other people said and what they thought was best for me. I don’t know if it’s a cop-out to be like that, because then you can turn around and blame other people for things.
But I think it was just a sense of, you just trust. I know for me, I really followed my mum’s advice and I really believed that she knew what was right for me. And then when it came to things, there were a lot of things that I know that if I turned back the time now, I would definitely do them differently. And obviously my mum was coming from a place of love, but it was one of those things where what’s right for her was definitely not right for me.
So basically I did listen to a lot of other people’s advice and follow what other people said they thought was right for me and around I think it was 2011, I broke up from somebody I was in a relationship for about, I think I was with him for about four or five years.
Detox: Body, Mind & Soul
And during that breakup I got into, I think actually it was at 20… Yeah, 2011. And during that breakup. I mean, I was already doing yoga for a number of years anyway, but I really started getting into alternative health and I started looking into different nutritional ways of looking at things, getting into different kinds of diets and things that because I just felt so wrong.
My whole body felt wrong.
I was smoking. I drank lots of coffee, I just, I just treated my body like a dust-bin – I didn’t treat my body very well at all, and I got to a point.
Around this time, interestingly Pluto entered Capricorn. And so that was about 2008. And that’s when I started to really go through these amazing transformations where I started feeling like, “I have to stop treating my body so badly, and I have to actually start looking after myself”.
And that begins with me actually taking care of, it’s not just the body, it’s the mind and the spirit as well. So I got into alternative health and went to see a holistic nutritionist and working out where I needed to change. It’s been an incredible process of transformation that literally started when Pluto entered Capricorn (in 2008) and Pluto didn’t meet my son in Capricorn until – the first time was 2016! So for eight years, Pluto was in Capricorn doing some, some of his magic or me before he’d even reached my sun.
Igniting Obsession
And so I started really trying to implement better habits. And I actually booked myself into see an astrologer – I think I mentioned this when I was talking in one of my earlier episodes – but I booked in and saw a lovely lady called Mary English in Bath.
She’s a astrologer and hypnotherapist and homeopath. And she gave me a reading and my mind was blown! I just couldn’t believe how accurate it was. And we were on the telephone, as well. You know when people say about cold reading and stuff? We were over the phone, she couldn’t see my face ’cause we weren’t Skyping (because back in those days I was scared of Skype!) and she just was saying stuff, just looking at my birth chart and it’s just, how can you be so accurate when you can’t even? You’re not even? There’s no way she could’ve known the things she knew!
So it was really, really awesome and I immediately was hooked and she was running a beginner’s course. So I signed up and I studied, think about six classes with her and bought the Astrology for Dummies book and was really, really immersing myself in that and started following loads of astrologers on the internet and really getting into it.
But I never, ever thought that it would be something I’d end up doing, I just loved it. And it just really suddenly for the first time ever, the way she was able to tell me about my life and what was going on with me and also about what is potentially coming for me in the future. It really made me feel like for once there really was some kind of bigger meaning and that actually I wasn’t just floundering around in this empty, vast nothingness, not really achieving much and never really going anywhere. I suddenly just realised, actually, if she’s able to tell that stuff I just felt there was such a connection.
So it, it just changed the way I felt about life. And that’s when I started studying astrology and I just, I really felt passionate about something – I really just found something that just lit me up from the inside out.
So it was just a moment of, a real Eureka Awakening moment for me with astrology going from my first ever reading. And then later on that year, I decided to sign up to the London school of Astrology (LSA).
Back to School
And I joined the LSA at my Saturn return! So that was what was really, really interesting to me because I didn’t realise that when I booked in with the LSA, it was only when I ended up looking back after maybe a few months of studying astrology that I realised that it was actually my Saturn return. I don’t know if it was actually to the day, it was very close to my Saturn return. And the chart that I had for my first ever class at LSA was such an incredible one.
It was just so amazing. There was so many different planetary transits that were triggering my chart. So that was where I met Frank Clifford and also Kim Farley I think, was doing the first classes with us. And I met loads of other people, also really interested in astrology. And I just suddenly was “Wow! This is what I’ve been waiting for my whole life. I’ve been looking for something that just feels like me!” I felt like I came home. I felt like for the first time ever, I really felt that I was with a bunch of people that just accepted me for who I was and that I was actually just, I just arrived. I was just finally in my place with my people. I’m still really good friends with loads of people that I met at the LSA in my first year of learning astrology.
And that triggered… I ended up studying Reiki as well. I’m a third degree; I did three degrees of Reiki, so I’m a Reiki Master practitioner. And I met some wonderful people doing Reiki as well, who I’m still in touch with.
My astrology journey just took me to a point. It took me to a place where I just wanted to immerse myself in it. And I remember being in I think year two, and I said to Frank (Clifford), “What does it mean when (transiting) Mercury is going to retrograde over my Midheaven?” And he said to me, “Oh, I think it means that if you’re interested in looking at different types of work, then it’s a good time to put the feelers out”. And so I said to him, “Oh, OK, I’d to work at the LSA!” And he said, “Oh! OK!, Well, I’ll let you know!”
And he then asked me later down the line if I’d like to help out on some bookstalls for him. So I did some voluntary work – a lot of voluntary work – at conferences, and I ended up working on a lot of different bookstalls at a lot of different conferences, absolutely loving it because it’s such a sociable job and it’s really good fun.
You just get to have lots of little conversations with people in my very Gemini Ascendant way, lots of little conversations with people. And then you get the people that keep coming back up for more books, because they’re totally just obsessed with buying astrology books. So you end up having loads of little conversations with the same people and, they come back with their head hanging down a little bit because it’s like “Yeah, I’m back for more books!” and I think, “yeah, I totally relate, I’m the same!”
From Awkward to Awesome
So I love doing the, the bookstalls at the conferences. And then after studying at the LSA—I stayed at the LSA for four years in the end—I think during my fourth year, Frank encouraged me to do a talk at the Astrological Lodge in London (Frank is the principal, by the way, if I didn’t mention that). But he encouraged me to do a talk at the Astrological Lodge and I never, ever, ever believed I could ever stand up in front of a room full of people and talk. I just didn’t believe I had it in me. I was, I was a very nervous, shy person, actually. I don’t think, I don’t know if people necessarily believe that about me, but I honestly I’m very shy. Or I used to be, anyway.
And I was almost painfully shy to the point that speaking out in front of anybody, it used to terrify me and I know a lot of people that say that they say that public speaking is terrifying. And yeah, I, I really, really, really, really felt that too. But I had made a promise to myself that year and I’ve made a promise to myself that I would say “yes” to opportunities instead of, “no”, it was, it was a point in my life where I thought: “No, I must take life and it’s opportunities when they present themselves, and run towards them head on!” Because I’m fed up of letting my life pass me by and not doing things because I’m scared of, you know, I’m just scared of failure, I guess.
I’m a Capricorn and I have a Saturn–Pluto conjunction in my natal chart. So there’s a big element of fear and doubt that really holds you back. And I just really wanted to challenge myself. So I did, and I did the talk at The Lodge and it was such an amazing experience for me. I just had the most amazing time. And around that time I also was asked by a number of people if I would teach them astrology. So I started teaching, it must have been after the talk. But I started teaching astrology to a few groups of people. And that was again, really interesting experience for me because it really showed me that I was able to do things I didn’t believe that I could.
And yeah, that, that sort of, I, that really sort of set me on a little journey and I realized how much I loved talking to people about astrology and teaching ideas and sharing ideas. So it kind’ve set the bar for me. And since then, I’ve done a lot of, I’ve been to a few different astrology groups all over the UK. And I’ve also traveled to India and spoken at a conference in India a few years back. Which, again, I traveled to India on my own – It’s just something that I never would have done before. I’ve never really gone anywhere. I’ve never really travelled anywhere on my own. So for me to do that, that was an amazing thing for me. And yeah. And then, and then also I appeared on a podcast, I was asked to go on my friend’s podcast and then they invited me back to be their resident astrologer, which I was ecstatic about!
Finding My Voice
I just really loved it. I just, I didn’t really understand. I used to listen to loads of podcasts. I loved listening to podcasts and I always said, I’d really love to do one, but I never thought – I didn’t really know what I would do my podcast about back in the old days before I got really madly into astrology. And I just I just didn’t know. So I just said, yes, I’ll be your resident astrologer. And I went on and I did a number of shows for I did a couple of shows for THA talks, and then I set up a podcast with the co-presenter of THA talks – Seana Collins.
I think I mentioned this before, actually in the welcome episode and Seana and I had a podcast together called HIJAC. It’s called the HIJAC… HIJAC podcast… What was it? The “Hey, It’s Just A Conversation”… The HIJAC Radio podcast. Gosh! My brain!
So yes, we had The HIJAC Radio Podcast together and it was a transatlantic podcast talking about all sorts of things. So I did that for I think I did that for a couple of years with Seana, as well. So I’m not really a stranger to podcasting. However, this is my first ever solo-podcast. And this is not my comfort zone by any stretch of the imagination. This is definitely not my comfort zone, but I am definitely feeling I’m at home doing this sort of thing. This is my vibe – I do enjoy podcasting. And that’s, where astrology took me since I got really got into it.
I really am grateful to Mary English and to Frank Clifford for really pushing me out of my comfort zone.
Leaving My Comfort Zone
And when I said to Mary, “Please, can you analyse all of these different charts for me? I really need to know more”. She was like, “Just learn the course!” And for me it was a bit scary because learning was something that—as much as I enjoy courses and finding things out—studying was always a daunting area for me.
So she encouraged me back into learning a new subject and I didn’t realise quite how much I’d take to it and how much I’d love it. And Frank also for just pushing me outside of my comfort zone on a number of occasions and every single time it’s been totally welcomed because it’s the kind of encouragement that I’ve always needed. And I got that from him. So I’m so, so grateful for that.
And obviously since I’ve been doing this sort of thing, like I said, I’ve traveled to India and I’ve presented in a number of astrology groups and I’ve written for a number of magazines and I’ve been published; I’ve got an article in the book of music horoscopes where I wrote about “The Great Hip Hop Hoax”, if you’ve ever seen it, it’s such a great documentary – you should check it out, I absolutely loved that. I’ve written horoscopes for my website and for ELLE magazine, and a number of other places as well. So, this was an amazing journey for me.
Saturn to my Natal Pluto: Mum’s Near Death Experience
But actually I think what my journey coincided with was that at my Saturn return my mum suddenly became very ill.
So not only was I doing a job that I was really unhappy with and I just felt like everything in my life was just so inauthentic and I just wasn’t living in harmony with myself, but my mum actually got really, really ill, very suddenly. And this was around the time that Saturn transited my Pluto and it was so shocking and scary how quickly it came on, and my mum was, very quickly over a number of weeks, she deteriorated so quickly.
She was taken into hospital and she continued to deteriorate to the point that we were visiting at all times of day and night – we really thought we were going to lose her. It was around that time that I was forced to do some serious soul searching. I really I’d already joined the astrology class with Mary, but at this point I was really starting to wonder, what am I supposed to be doing with my life?
I was worried about my mum passing away and still being a big kid – not really knowing what I wanted to do with my life and being the one that my parents were worried about. I just couldn’t get that out of my head – I just had no direction. And also I was really introduced to mortality. It really made me realise that there is life is not permanent and we only get one shot and we have to give it our best. And I really woke up to the reality—which is what Saturn does; it really wakes you up to the reality of what’s happening in your life, and asks you, “is this really what you’re happy with?”—It’s a total reality check.
Reclaiming My Personal Power
So the good news is that my mum did recover, and as a result, I did to take matters into my own hands in many ways. And I left my job that I was so unhappy in and I just got another little job.
I leaned back on my hairdressing skills and I went and worked in a barber salon and I did little, a couple of other little jobs where it gave me a lot of free time to think about what I needed to do. So I was very lucky to be able to stay at my parents while I sorted my life out and figuring out where I want to be. And all of this is happening. All of this happened basically around the time that my directed Mercury, (like I said, I was born with Mercury retrograde).
It, my progressed Mercury had gone all the way back to the position where it was gonna stay ‘stationed direct’ and then move forward. So over the, over the first 21 years of my life, Mercury was retrograde and then it started to go direct again. And actually I’m coming up for my proper Mercury return (by progression) next year.
So still, as far as my progress chart is concerned, I am still ‘retrograde’ – my whole chart is still retrograde. So I think it’s interesting that the closer it gets to its home point, the more I start doing astrology and podcasts, and just basically living the life that I feel like I was born to live. So yeah, that’s kind’ve me in a nutshell – I mean, it’s quite a big nutshell cause that’s quite long, I think.
Depression, Medication & Revelation
But I just wanted everybody to know that this is who I am. This is where I came from. And actually astrology did a lot for me. It’s changed my life. I’m a lot happier now.
Like I said, I was depressed – I was given medication and told that I would always need to take it. I haven’t taken that medication since January, 2013. And yes, I’ve had difficult time since yes.
Maybe I could have benefited from taking an antidepressant, but instead of doing that, I decided to lean on natural ways of managing challenging times. And I also decided, like doing yoga making sure that I’m eating well and getting good sleep. And also in 2013 I went on a total detox and I stopped smoking cigarettes and I stopped drinking coffee and I stopped drinking alcohol.
I do drink alcohol now. But I don’t drink coffee and I don’t smoke anymore. And that was, it was all part of this giant detox. I was going through this big Pluto detox. I’m not saying that, everybody should stop taking medication and, and just do astrology.
I’m not because I know everybody has medication for different reasons and everybody has their own. I’m not a doctor – so don’t do what I say, as far as that’s concerned. I’m just saying that for myself personally, what I like to do is look at the transits and think, “OK, I’ve got some heavy stuff coming up. I know I’m going to have to deal with this. And I’ll get through it”. So, that’s just how I manage it. And if it ever did get that bad, then yeah, of course I would look at having something to help me out, some medication and that, but it just feels for me that I don’t really need it anymore because I’m able to navigate the challenges by looking at what I’ve got approaching.
It just, it just adds context – it just adds so much context to challenging situations that you don’t have to necessarily lean on things, that I know with me, antidepressants – kind’ve masked the difficulty that I was feeling, but they didn’t really deal with the problem. And at least with astrology, you’re able to say, “I can see what the conflict is – I can see what the challenge is”. It helps you to address the problem. And it helps you to heal yourself and, and manage things in a different way than you would if you went to the doctor and you were leaning on somebody else’s professional opinion of what’s going on with you.
So I feel like I’m taking – I guess it’s probably cause I’m a bit of a control freak! But anyway, being a Capricorn with a Scorpio moon, is there any kind’ve surprise that I would say I’m a control freak? I must be!
And the other thing is that having a Gemini ascendant, Capricorn sun and a Scorpio moon, those three things apparently are supposed to be the moodiest signs of the Zodiac. So, moon in Scorpio is known to be quite melancholic and a Capricorn sun also can be quite depressive and a Gemini ascendant can just have mood swings; can be like, one minute they’re happy, the next minute they’re feeling a bit down in the dumps, and it’s just quite up and down. So, I’m not surprised that I have had issues with being moody and things like that in the past. When I saw my birth chart and realised that for the first time, I was like, “Ah, so it’s who I am!”. And I accepted that about myself. So yeah, that’s, it’s, there’s an element of self acceptance that comes with learning astrology.
Acceptance of my Place in the World
And I’m not saying everybody that joins this journey with me is going to decide “that’s it, I’m going to be an astrologer”.
However, learning astrology, it just, it just helps you to understand yourself and understand what’s going on around you a lot better. And it makes you feel like you’re able to act in an informed way rather than reacting all the time. So that’s what astrology has done for me.
It’s been an amazing, incredible journey and it just keeps on giving and I just keep on growing with it. And it’s one of those subjects where you’re the eternal student, I’ll always be learning astrology – it’s never ending. And I wanted to set up this podcast to help people along their journey as well.
I’ve said that before, there may be some little things that I repeated myself with here, but actually I just thought it would be useful for you to hear my story.
Skip to the End…
And if you don’t really feel like listening to it, you can skip it. But I’ve put that little detail at the very end of this episode. So it’s no good me saying it right there, because if you’re at the beginning of the episode, you’re not going to know that I said, “skip it if you can’t be bothered”, but I’m sure you will, anyway!
So, aside from all of that random waffle, I just wanted to say, thank you for listening. And again, if you’re enjoying please subscribe, rate, and review it really helps me out. And actually, I’m hoping that it will I will get bumped up on the New and Noteworthy section of iTunes.
And if you are enjoying this podcast, if you screenshot it and then tag me @StelliumAstro on Instagram, or you can hashtag it as well, if you don’t mind putting the #stelliumastrology or #thestelliumastrologypodcast, I’d be excited to see that popping up on social media. So, yeah, please do let me know if you’re enjoying it and thank you for listening to my story. I know waffled on a bit there. It was quite a long one, but I guess, Gemini Ascendant has their story to tell. So thanks very much for listening and I will speak to you next time. Bye!
Disclaimer: Using the affiliate links in this post means I may receive a commission if you purchase something through a link. However, please be assured that I only recommend products I have personally used and love, and buying through these links really helps me continue creating the content you love!